The Runt, The Chatterbox, and The Deadly Beauty
by Knight of Eons
Summary: Arranged marriage sucks. Especially when you're in a secret forbidden relationship and the marriage is to prevent any future war between two tribes with plenty of bad blood between them. Actual summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

Started: 2/2/2014  
Summary: AU Post 1st movie and minor influence of the 2nd movie with a tiny dash of the books in there. Hiccup finds that he was arranged to marry another cheif's heir, from the Death Dealers' Tribe of Vikings, since a few measely hour after his birth. Her name is Astrid Hofferson aka "The Beautiful Death/Deadly Beauty", cousin of Camicazi Hofferson and niece of Big Boobied Bertha Hofferson, and she's no more happy about the decision then he is. In fact, she hates his guts with the passion of a hot knife simply because it was decided when their clans were on the brink of war and they were born the same day.  
And the worst part, they have to conceive a child to seal the peace between their clans.  
Warning! This story was written by me in boredom and desperation brought on by a long term disconnection from the internet. Be warned.  
Enjoy!  
Note: This story takes place with events happening five years earlier. Hiccup and Astrid's birth, the encounter with Toothless. Other events pretaining to Astrid being in the movie never happened here. It's a new spin! Also, Stoic is the same age as in the first film for the current time in this story, I don't want him to be old and understanding of Hiccup right now.

* * *

-In the waters separating Berk's Hairy Hologans from Slash's Death Dealers-  
The water was eerily calm following the cease fire from both sides, the dark surface occasionally revealing a piece of destroyed ship or shield that managed to float back to the surface among other debris.  
To the West of the calm waters, a fleet of ships from Berk stood silently, a row boat breaking ranks as it carried two large, intimidating men to the calm waters as a row boat from Slash fleet did the same, two equally intimidating men approaching the Berk rowboat.  
As soon as the boats touched, they ceased movement altogether, the men making eye contact so intense, they could have frozen the water around them solid for miles.  
"Stoic the Vast.", Came the call from the blonde bearded man from slash. He was their chief, their leader.  
"Reap the Sharp.", Stoic responded, his bigger, red beard moving slightly with his words, "I suppose you know why I called a cease?"  
"Likewise.", Reap the Sharp was always a man of few words. At least in the presence of an enemy, but Stoic was no longer an enemy, "My wife, Vendetta, hath delivered a beautiful daughter this morning. Astrid. She's her mother's daughter and my heir."  
"And my wife has given me a healthy son... Hiccup. He's not much to look at now, but in time, he'll grow into his duties and show his potential.", Stoic said, knowing that in giving his son's name, he's just revealed his son's state...  
"Hard to believe. With a name like Hiccup, one can only imagine that he's but a runty sac of bones that cries-"  
"We didn't come here for ye' to insult the wee lad, Reap. We came to make peace.". The man in the rowboat with Stoic said. His name was Gobber the Belch, and but three years ago, he'd lost his leg to the war befalling the two Tribes. Now said War was over, and he was aching to get out of the company of Death Dealers as soon as possible, "Now are ye' goin' to just stand thar and insult a babe, or are we gonna get down to business?"  
"Hm.", Reap growled, fist clenched before he put his knuckles to his hips and gave a huff, "Very well! I'm here to arrange the marriage of my daughter to yer son, Stoic."  
"And with this marriage, we'll end the five years of war between the Hairy Hologans of Berk-"  
"And the Death Dealers of Slash."  
With strentgh to rival a thunder clap, the two men reached forward and clasped eachother's forearm with grips that easily made the others fingers tips begin to numb.

* * *

15 years later-Berk

* * *

Green met green. Fear saw fear. One surrendered while another realized.  
Hiccup stood still as the Night Fury looked him in the eyes, and then laid it's head down, accepting it's fate at the hands of the superior beast.  
Hiccup raised his knife to strike the dragon's heart. But he couldn't bring himslef to bring the knife down to commit the final blow.  
"...I did this...", He muttered, ashamed that he'd just been about to take a life for glory, for acceptance, for his father's acceptance of him.  
He turned to leave, his heart heavy with disgust and self hatred. He couldn't kill this dragon. He couldn't kill anything. He was no viking. He could never be what his father wanted of him.  
He was destined to be pathetic. Destined to be Hiccup.  
He glanced down at the knife in his hands... He couldn't kill the dragon, but he could set it free...

* * *

Same time and day-Slash

* * *

Astrid watched from her kneeling positon, as her father walked to the weapons rack in their home, steel blue eyes watching his every move as he turned his back to her and picked up something.  
Judging from the sound, it was big, it was sharp, it was-  
"The Family Battle Axe. The Lopper Limb.", Reap spoke lowly, admiring the blade in his hands, "Handed down to me on the day I was bethrothed your mother, Astrid. On the day of your bethrothal you too shall inherit this axe. But until that day...", He turned away and put the FBA back in it's place. Astrid could hear him pick something else up before and turned back to her.  
A soft gasp escaped her as she saw what he held in his hands, "F-father...Is that...?".  
"Until you are bethrothed Astrid, you shall inherit the Axe I used at your age. The Cutthroat.", Reap said as he handed the miniature version of the FBA to her, the weight being off by quite a bit. But knowing his duaghter, she'd perfect her use of this weapon.  
"Father... I don't know what to say...", She said as she ran her hand along the flat side of the axe's double bladed head. She could perfectly see her reflection in the smooth, well polished metal. Was she crying? Oh Thor! She was crying!  
Tears of joy.  
"I'm so proud of you, Astrid.", Her mother, Vendetta Hofferson, said as she came from behind and made her duaghter stand and face her, giving her a bone crushing hug.  
Astrid was released soon afterward and felt her father's powerful, undoubtedly larger hands on her shoulders, "Promise me, Astrid. Promise that you'll make me proud.", Her father's voice actually wavered with emotion, knowing he'd never gotten to prove his worth to his own father before his untimely demise at the hands of a traitor.  
"I promise father.", The words felt nice as they rolled off her tongue, "I promise to make you proud, father. I won't fail you and I won't break my promise!", She sobbed the second and third sentences as she quickly handed her newly claimed axe to her mother and l lunged at her father, making him stagger back slightly as she hugged him around the neck with all her might.  
"I know you won't, Astrid. I know you won't.", Reap said as he hugged his duaghter back, weary that she was still so frail compared to him. He glanced at the Family Battle Axe in it's place on the Hofferson weapons rack. And in it's smooth polished metal, he could see Astrid's future. his duaghter was destined for greatness...

* * *

Five years later-Berk

* * *

Hiccup dismounted Toothless, removing his helmet. He brought up his left hand to brush his hair free of it's squished mess of dark brown form so that it was once again simply a mess of dark brown that stood freely, "Well, Toothless, I'd say that was another success. I didn't even come close to hitting the water this time!"  
"Hiccup!", Came the familiar cry as a cloaked figure ran at him, short cut blonde hair freely flowing around her head as she quickly approached the young Dragon Rider, "Hiccup!".  
"What's wrong, Camica-Ooph!", He exclamed as he was tackled from behind before he'd even gotten the chance to turn around. He and Camicazi slid several feet in the tall grass before coming to a stop.  
"...Ow...", Was all he could say before he pushed his front off the grasses and rolled over, Camicazi still sprawled on top of him, "Camicazi, what are you doing here? And why in the name of-"  
"No time to explain! You need to come with me! Right now!", She said urgently as she pulled him up by his hands, despite him being two heads taller and at least ten pounds heavier in his flight gear.  
"Wait Camicazi, we can just-"  
"No time! If we don't hurry we'll be late and then it won't be good for anybody! Why aren't you running? Get your Norse butt in gear!", She said as she had started to push him vigorously toward the village, which was at least two miles away.  
"Camicazi!"  
"WHAT!"  
"We can just take Toothless.", Hiccup said calmy as he gestured to the dragon that was watching the two of them in curiousity.  
"...Oh..."  
Within seconds they were mounted on the Night Fury and within a minute they had reached the House of Chief Stoic and his Heir Hiccup Haddock.  
Jumping off with a sprint, Hiccup was at his door in a heartbeat, his new and improved prosthetic not hindering his motions as he grabbed the door handle.

* * *

In Slash

* * *

"Father, you called for me?", Astrid said after having burst into her families house built into the hill over looking the village. She'd been out training in the forest when a messenger had run up to her, telling her that her father requested an urgent word with her.  
She had run the whole way home and wasn't even winded. She trained. A lot.  
"Astrid.", Reap spoke, his hands clasped behind his back as he stood staring into the fire, "There is something... Something I been meaning to tell you. For quite some time..."  
"Father, what is it?", Astrid asked, not used to seeing or hearing her father this way. He seemed uncertain. Her father was never uncertain. It was impossible to think such a thing. And yet, here it was before her eyes, "Are we going to war? Did... did something happen to mother? Are you ill?! Please tell me what's wro-"  
"Astrid, calm down.", He said, his grey eyes still focused on the flames of the fireplace, "It would be best if you sat down for this news."  
She remained standing, as was the way of Slash. If you were offered a seat, you could chose to sit, but a Death Dealer remained standing, regardless of fatigue, injury, rest or some other excuse.  
Reap guessed she would remain standing anyway, "Years ago, Astrid, we were on the brink of war with the Hairy Hooligan tribe of Berk."  
Automatically, she began reciting facts and such in her head, 'Lead by Chief Stoic the Vast. Risen twenty years before Sharp, forty years before Outcast Island. The first and currently only tribe to make peace with AND domesticate Dragons under the tutolage of Stoic's son Hiccup Something Something The Third. Rivals of Sharp. War was settled with an agreement for...Something important later on.', But she had no idea why this was relevant now. None the less, she listened closely to her father as he took another deep breath and continued.  
"Yer mother had just brought ye into the world, and you were so fitful in your first hours. I was half expecting you to grab a hammer and weild Thunder and Lightning.", He spoke with a noticeable amount of affection in his voice, a smile showing through his thick, sun bleached, blond beard, "Yer eyes weren't even open and you were givin' the nurse maids a hard time. And then I held ye in my hands, and ye stopped. Yer eyes opened, and you just looked at me with big blue eyes. The biggest I'd ever seen. And the only thing I could say was, 'Welcome to your home, lil' Valkerie.' Of course yer mother didn't like a title for a baby name. Sh'Wanted me to name you after our mothers, Aster the Mistress o' Disaster(Vendetta's mother) and Ingrid the Timid(Reap's mother). And I couldn't argue, she'd carried you for all those months, so off the top o' m'head, I named ye. Astrid."  
He blinked, long and hard, turning away from the flames as he faced her, eyes still closed. When he opened them, his eyes were brimmed with tears and holding a anger he never seemed to show around her.  
Astrid's fist tightened at her sides, the wood of her Axe's handle creaking slightly. The black Fear Paint surrounding her eyes felt like it was running. Was it hot in here or was she sweating from nervousness? She hadn't been anywhere near this nervous since she had first expirienced her...  
...Her curse...  
"Astrid I want you to know this. No matter what choice you chose, you'll still make me proud."  
Astrid gulped now, and it was audible enough for people at the docks to hear over their yelling and bickering; Her worst fear was realizing she could let her father down at any second. Which was why she always pushed to improve, leave no room for error. Be the perfect duaghter.  
"When the war had reached it's peak, you and another child were born on the day I and Stoic called a cease...", She didn't like where this was going. "The child born, was Hiccup Horrendous Haddock The Third, Stoic's only son and child.", She really didn't like where this was going. "At the time, the only way to allow peace would be a marriage of the Chiefs' oldest or only children if it was possible.", Oh Thor! Oh Freyja! Oh All Father above, She didn't want to know where this was going!  
Her eyes suddenly noticed something they'd looked over when she entered. The Family Battle Axe was no longer in it's place on the weapon's rack.  
It was in her father's hands. The hands raising to offer her the Axe.  
One word escaped her at the moment, her voice a low, shuddering whisper, "...No..."

* * *

In Berk

* * *

"No... This...This can't be right! It isn't!", Hiccup shouted, backing away from his father, his hands coming up to grip the brown haired sides of his head, a deep frown marring his handsome features, "No, no, no!"  
"Hiccup, I'm sorry son. But this is the way it has to be.", Stoic said as he walked forward and put a hand on his son's shoulder, "Think of the consequences if you don't go through with this."  
"Don't you dare go there, dad!", Hiccup roared, pulling from the gesture and pointing accusingly at Stoic, "We made peace with Dragons! Our sworn enemies since Berk was founded and risen! And look at how well that turned out! It doesn't have to be that way! You know this! We can change our traditions towards Dragons, and we can change our traditions between other tribes!", He said, desperate to get out of this situation at all costs, "I will not marry her!"  
"Hiccup! We here on Berk have managed to adjust best with the change! Those of Slash haven't had a dragon on their Isle since the Iminent Death's defeat! That's five years, son! And this marriage will ensure peace between our tribes so no one has to worry everytime they stray too far into enemy waters!", Stoic said, bellowing in his son's face as he gestured aggressively with his hands, "It's about time you started to acccept your responsibilities and make sacrifices for what's best for your people!"  
"My people? MY PEOPLE!", Hiccup yelled as he turned from the door he'd been walking toward and slammed it shut with his left arm, facing his father with an equal, if not greater, fire burning in his jaded green eyes(See what I did there?), "My people barely acknowledged my attempts to live up to their expectations five years ago! Even my FATHER culdn't see that all I ever wanted was to be him, even if I was just a walking, talking Fishbone who couldn't weild his own knife! To grow out of his father's shadow and be him! But I'll never be my father! I'll never be you! I'll never be anything like you!", Hiccup yelled, and it would be an understatemnet to say the Villagers could here the two, "In fact, I'd rather die than be like you!", And with that, Hiccup reached up and tore off the right shoulder plate with the same Hairy Hooligan symbol as displayed on Stoic's cape clasps. The left shoulder had the Strike Class symbol in bright green coloring. It, the torn off right shoulder plate, made a metallic ringing and clank noise as it clattered to the ground at Stoic's feet. Hiccup was already at the door, holding the handle tightly in his left hand as he turned his head enough to keep Stoic in his periphreal. His voice was low and cold, rivaling his father in battle, "And don't you worry about me making sacrifces for the sake of the village and everyone in it. I've barely even started.", And with that, he walked out, closing the door behindhim. The faint metallic chirping of his prosthetic barely making it through the walls to Stoic's ears.  
"Oh, Val. What have I done?", Stoic said after having picked up the shoulder plate which Hiccup had made himself, and deposited himslef in the large chair in front of the fire, "Hiccup... The boy needs you more than he does me, right now."

* * *

With Hiccup

* * *

He was fucking livid.  
He was in a fucking rage!  
A Scoldron's hottest blast would seem like ice compared to his anger.  
Toothless could sense this, and after hearing Hiccup's loud roaring, he was timid to approach his friend, crooning fretfully behind Camicazi as she walked to stop Hiccup, her hands held up to his chest.  
"Hiccup-"  
"Not now, Camicazi. I'm not in the mood.", He said, easily walking around her, which didn't dull her persistance as she hurried after him, Toothless a few Gronkle body lentghs behind the two young adults.  
For his safety. She was on her own.  
"Hiccup! You're upset, you just need to talk it out with someone!", Camicazi said, jogging to keep up with his lengthy, angered strides.  
When did he get to have such long striding legs?  
"Camicazi, I just want to be alone right now.", He said as she stood in front of him.  
He went to go around her to his left, but she stepped to her right and blocked him again.  
He tried going to his right, but she jumped to her left, succeeding in cutting him off once again, pissing him off even more.  
"'Cazi, let me leave."  
"No Hiccup."  
"Camicazi.", He said, sighing as his fists were turning white at the knuckles, the calloused skin ready to strike something.  
"Hiccup.", She growled, holding her arms out to the side as a crowd of villagers were starting to gather near the path up to his and Stoic's house. This didn't seem like a normal disagreement between the two close friends. As well as brief lovers...  
"Move.", This time he stepped up to her, her chin at midchest level with him. This made her have to look up at him, stubborn brown meeting fiery green. Holy crap, he was actually intimidating with the way his jaw muscles rippled at the curve of his jaw bone. And a bit more attractive...  
"No.", She said, and knew things were about to get physical.  
That was it for Hiccup. He wasn't in the mood for her persistance. He wasn't in the mood for communicating his feelings. He wasn't in the mood for marriage. Especially to a girl he didn't know or love when the one he did love was standing before him testing his patience.  
With speed known only to exist for his mount, Hiccup reached up and grabbed Camicazi by the shoulders, the fabric of her cloak wrinkling between his metal like fingers. This earned gasps from Camicazi, the gathered vikings, and shieldmaidens as some were prepared to come to Camicazi's aid.  
Camicazi herself was considering calling for help, and she knew Hiccup wouldn't hurt her... On purpose. But she was afraid Hiccup may have some of the Dragon head rendering strength of his father in those forge hardened hands. His grip was like well worked steel, but he wasn't crushing the life out of her.  
Yet.  
With a surprising show of strength, Hiccup lowered his grip to her upper arms, pressing her arms to her sides, Camicazi fighting to keep her arms elivated. She whimpered slightly in pain as he then kept his grip on her arms and used his strength to lift her up and turn, unhindered or troubled, to set her down where he was standing. He let her go and she dropped two inches to the ground with a small stumble as he turned and walked away, intent on distancing himslef from all sentient life for as long as he needed. Maybe longer.  
He was so intent on getting away, he didn't pay any attention to the parted crowd of vikings and shieldmaidens as he walked through them, not giving a glance to Fishlegs, Heather, Snotlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, anybody his age, younger, older, or even infront of him. He didn't care for any of them right now.  
Back on the slope he'd walked down, Camicazi watched sympathetically as her freind and crush left, his Dragon now standing infront of her as he crooned sadly for the awkward, goofy, often too loveable, nature of his human to resurface.  
"Let's go follow him Toothless.", She said as she climbed up into the saddle, "Just to make sure he's okay."  
Toothless gave a sorrowful croon and rose from his sad seated position, trotting around the vikings quickly in order to keep his human in sight.  
Camicazi held on as she watched Hiccup disappear into the forest. And deep down inside, she could feel him disappearing from her future as her husband. He was now her cousin to be...

* * *

Later, at night in Slash

* * *

Astrid sat on the edge of the cliff, her hands clasping the wooden shaft of the FBA in her hands as she held it upright, slouching against it as she peered out into the dark meadow of the area a few minutes from her window seal. From her window you could see this place, but if you were at the spot she was at, you wouldn't be able to see the village, just her house.  
She came here when ever she wanted to train without being gawked at by the show offs that always tried to woo her with their lesser skills. Sometimes she just came to watch the moon as it moved across the sky, studying it's circular, pale features the whole time.  
Her studying was interrupted by the light treading of soft, damp grass twenty paces behind her. She knew this place, of course she'd know the approximate measures her favorite place. And she recognized the steps, they had a slight limp.  
It originated from the hip, due to an attack not from battle that had caused the joint to be sprained. It never fully healed but it got better progressively. Several child births hadn't hindered it's healing whatsoever.  
"Hello mother.", She said, not wanting to take her eyes off the moon just yet.  
Vendetta continued over, settling herself down next to her daughter, her youngest and most recent child nestled in her arms, wrapped in a pale grey blanket. The child was suckling hungrily at their mothers bossom.  
"Hello Astrid.", Vendetta said as she turned and looked at her daughter from the side, trying to gauge her emotions. Blank. Just like her father.  
"Why am I just finding out about this now?", Astrid spoke softly, the edge normally held by her voice gone as she lowered her eyes from the moon to gaze blindly into the dark grasses of the meadow before her, "Did I mess up on something? Was I not ready?"  
"Yes.", Wow, that hurt a lot more than she expected it to.  
"But I tried so hard to be my best, mother. All I ever wanted was to make you and father proud-"  
"And you did, Astrid. But...", Vendetta faltered with her words, readjusting her child in her arms slightly, "You were too proud of yourself Astrid. You would not have handled the news anywhere near as to how you did today. You nearly starved yourself when you couldn't master your use of the Cutthroat."  
Okay, in her defense, she had tried to teach her body to hone it's use by rewarding herself full meals when she could go through all her movements, attacks, defenses and such properly.  
In short, within a month she'd eaten three whole meals. And those weren't even in the same weeks. She'd, temporarily, lost her breasts and a bit of curvature from that stint.  
One word: Stupid.  
"I guess was a bit overthe top.", She said with a small smile at her mother, then to her infant sibling as they gave a gurgling burp, now content to hybernate once again.  
"Astrid, the top was the ground we walk on. You were on a mountain peak.", Her mother said with a chuckle, elbowing her side softly as she wiped a bit of drool from her babes chin.  
"Okay, so I was way over the top.", She finally smiled genuinely, giggling as her mother kept going at her side. That was why she kept her leather breast wrappings on so much, so people wouldn't see her facade crack with a soft giggle.  
"No objection here.", Her mother said, then reached over and placed her left arm over Astrid's shoulder, "Don't worry, Astrid. I'm sure this Hiccup Haddock will love you. You may grow to love him too.", That received an unconscious snort from the girl.  
"Yeah, mom, that's so very much likely to happen. I'm going to fall in love with the dashing Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III! Son of the Great Stoic The Vast! The Great conquer of Dragons! An heir unlike any ever seen before!", She said in a low, exagerated whipser, gesturing excitedly with her hands as she spoke. She was reciting all the Yakk crap she'd heard from multiple other tribes and the occassional merchant/trader that stopped by. Especially Trader Johann, he seemed to have interacted with her husbanb to be more than most others.  
Personally, Astrid hadnever met the guy. Tensions were still at their highest concerning Berk and Slash inhabitants. From what she knew, they hadn't even been on the same Island following the truce between the chiefs.  
"Who knows, I was arranged to marry yer father and I didn't want to. But I did it out of duty, and now I love yer father as he is, was and will be."  
"But you two grew up on the same island, in the same tribe, you loved him before you were arranged to marry him-"  
"Only because I didn't want to marry him at the time.", Vendetta soothed, rubbing circles on her back, "But give it time, and you may learn to love him."  
"But I don't want to love him.", Astrid retorted, lightly banging her head against the long handle of...Her axe..., "I want to kill him and be done with his existence."  
"You haven't even met him."  
"He's from Berk, I'd rather keep it that way."  
"You know you sound like right now?"  
"Who? You?"  
"No.", Vendetta said as she go up and turned to leave, "You sound like yer father when he found out from me that we were to be wedded."  
She didn't need to turn around to see her daughters face, she knew she was shocked by that news. But Astrid was young and still learning. And love was something that couldn't be learned.  
It had to be felt and realized. Discovered.  
Astrid was silent as her mother walked away, contemplating her words as she turned back to stare up at the moon, seeing it had risen higher into the sky as more stars were revealed.  
She had to get it together. Her dad had told her that she would have to meet with her husband to be tomorrow. That meant she had to get up bright and early. Even if she didn't want to.  
"So much for Astrid the Deadly Beauty of Slash.", She muttered sarcastically to no one but her self, standing whilst pulling herself up with the handle of the axe, "Here comes Astrid, the tamed wife of Hiccup The Horrendously Horrid Haddock."  
With those words she trudged her way back to her home, leaving the sanity of her spot behind as she settled in for a fitful night of sleep.

* * *

Berk, Toothless's Cove

* * *

Hiccup sighed as he dropped his sword, a good one third of the blades sinking into the soft, moist dirt next to him as he staggered and fell onto his back ungracefully, tired with sore shoulders. The feeling of moisture sinking through his exposed shoulder making him cringe as he remembered that he'd have to reconnect the neglected shoulder plating when he went back.  
He'd have to face his father again. He was too tired now to get angry again, and he didn't even care now. He'd come to terms with having to marry against his will halfway through hacking the poor tree he'd been attacking in half. It now laid in chunks, the trunk having given out when he cut more than half way through it. He'd just kept at his assault, dicing as much as he could in anger and frustration.  
Now he was sweaty, sated, and down to Earth once again. He could now ponder things clearly and not make haphazardous decisions.  
Speaking of which...  
"You can come out now, Camicazi. You too, Toothless.", He called out, his breath slightly drawn out from his exhaustion as he leaned against a low boulder.  
From his spot, he could see them move at the ridge over looking his spot in his peripheral vision. Camicazi's face was slightly flushed as she trudged over, eyes cast down and not looking at his face.  
"How'd you know we were here?", She asked, cheeks growing redder slightly.  
"The smell of sea salt doesn't carry this far inland, especially not around fresh water areas.", He said as he gestured to the bit of sea salt dried along the whole of her cloak, "And Toothless snores when he dreams about running.", Said dragon groggily yawned before plopping his gaunt head into Hiccup's lap, now assured that he was in no danger from his friend. He started to purr when a hand briefly rubbed his nose and then began to scratch his jaw line.  
"'Guess I don't take after the land based side of the family.", Camicazi said as she sat her self next to him and crossed her extended legs, wrapping her cloak around her upper body to ward off the slight chill of the night.  
Without warning Hiccup's right arm shot behind her head and grabbed her right shoulder firmly, pulling her to his side, careful of the metal shell surrounding his upper body.  
Camicazi's eyes widened noticeably as she looked up at him, "Hiccup! What are you-Mmph!", She was silenced by his lips coming down to capture hers, his left hand warm and slightly damp as it cupped her cheek gently, thumb drawing little circles on her now dark red cheek.  
With a sigh, she relaxed, feeling her arms wrap around his lower body, the leather and metal flight armor making it harder to really feel him against her, but she was content to feel his lips against hers. It was what kept her form hating his father anymore than she did now for over six years.  
They held each other for quite some time, at some point having rolled away from Toothless, Hiccup supporting his upper body's weight on his elbows and forearms as his lips and tongue fought to dominate hers.  
Her arms had moved to wrap around his semi-armored shoulders and neck, her hands clutching the hair on either side of his head and pulling him closer by the fistfuls she held on to. A moan was shared as she pushed her hips up, feeling a heat rivaling her own from his. He returned the action, his hips coming down in a deeper, more curved arch meant for something other than grinding.  
Things were getting close to dangerous right now. They could feel this, but they wanted to let the danger overtake them so badly. Just throw caution to the wind and let be what should have been for years.  
But they couldn't.  
With a slight audible suction between their lips, he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. His dark, dampened brown hair mingled with her pale blonde hair, their breathes synchronized and shared as they stared into eachothers' eyes, mending the damage that had been inflicted earlier because of his anger at his title and her persistance to get him to not be angry.  
He spoke first, "I'm gonna miss that.", He emphasized this with another kiss, this one far briefer and more restrained, "And that.".  
"And I'll miss this.", She said, suddenly thrusting her hips up and wrapping her legs around his waist. Even with the flight armor on, she could get a good hold on him in this position. Pushing her arms down at the elbows and twisting her body, she pulled him higher over her and rolled them over, now pressing into his chest with her hands as she grinned down at his widened eyes and flushed cheeks.  
"Da...Uh...", He said oh so inteligently, trying to ignore the position they were in as she sat back on him, "Should have seen that coming.".  
"You should've." She agreed as she began to rock her hips against his, moaning softly as the bulge not caused by leather or metal, or a real bone, pressed up against her sacred area, "Uh, that's better."  
"We shouldn't be doing this...Camicazi...", He said, trying to get her stop as she picked up her pace, leaning back on her hands as she worked more on going down on him.(No pun intended. I swear.) His protest however, ceased as she had settled her warmth on him, making him gasp out her name almost inaudibly in pleasure. His hands went from trying to lift her hips off his to applying pressure to them, helping her move against him better as his fingers kneaded her legs through her leggings.  
"No one will know, Hiccup. It's not like we're doing It.", She reasoned, leaning down to embrace him as her breasts' tips were starting to poke agaisnt her chest wrappings, hot air flowing from the both of them and heating them up under her cloak.  
Sweat began to form on their skin as soft blushes crossed their faces, wreckless moans echoing off the walls of the cove as Camicazi sped up more. Hiccup's hips coming off the ground as he thrusted against her grinds, feeling himself hardening more as his breathes grew quick.  
Hiccup soon became (Started/Continued: 2/10/14)more confident, right hand slipping under her shirt and smoothly finding her bound breasts. While they certainly weren't rivalling her mother's chest, she had a enough for him to softly pull and knead. His fingers dislodged the cotton wraps enough to play with the beaded flesh, feeling her chest heaving against his damp palm. He began to thrust up against her covered, warm flesh with more force, making his armor clank faintly and her chest to bounce against his hand, her breaths hitching each time he'd thrust.

"Hiccup!", She moaned jerkily, her left hand clutching his through the shirt, begging him to continue. He did.  
He pulled his left hand from her hip, hooking two fingers into the fabric at the top of her leggings. His eyes locked with hers briefly as he gave the fabric a slight tug to let her know what he intended to do.  
She bit her lit, moaning as she nodded, her blonde hair starting to show the result of their actions as it bounced like her breasts. He slipped his hand beneath the fabric, the coolness of the metal of his sleeves making her shudder as it challenged the heat in her belly.  
His fingers were quick and precise as he passed the thin cotton barrier, tickling the thatch of curls he'd once glimpsed before he felt himself pass a small nub that made her shudder, tense up and nearly collapse all in the same second. His fingers were now lost in a rippling, wet warmth that massaged his digits, making his mouth water and his loins throb.  
Warm finger tips grazing his pelvic region alerted him to Camicazi's actions as she mover closer, leaning her chest forward so he was level with her covered mounds and his right/her left hand. Her right hand slipped into his pants as his had hers and she gripped him, feeling how much he wanted to replace his fingers with his...spear. The mess of curlier hairs she felt made her body heat up more as she gave him a soft squeeze and stroke.  
"That feels so good.", He said, curling his fingers into her further, knowing she liked a certain spot touched in these moments.  
"Likewise.", She groaned, pressing down on his fingers till they slipped further into her, stroking him as simultaneously as she could with the sensations running through her.  
After a minute of trying to set their rhythm, they just lost themselves in it, kissing deeply as they went further still but never crossed that final line. All as the moon reached higher and higher in the sky, mimicking their pleasure. Before too long a cry sounded, followed closely by a shuddering breath.  
After several more minutes they left the cove on foot, Toothless refusing to let them fly back as he hated having THAT scent sticking to the saddle.  
The two didn't mind this as they held each others hand, content and at peace once again. Well, for the time being at least.  
As they trudged along, Toothless lost up ahead, Hiccup turned to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "I'm really going to miss nights like these, Camicazi."  
"Me too.", She said with a return kiss. They remained quiet for the rest of their walk, letting go of the others hand when the village came into view.  
"Maybe Lof'n will smile on us.", Camcazi said when he lead her to the docks where her tribes' boats and dragons were.  
"Yeah, and maybe the gods will stop hating me.", He said sarcastically, and Camicazi could tell he wanted to go for another kiss, but they were in the village now, and a patrolling guard could catch them. It was too risky.  
They kissed anyway, loving how their hearts thundered and their blood ran hot from the thrill of it all. The two would never get used to their personal brand of thrilling crazy.  
"Good night, Camicazi. I'll see you...tomorrow, I guess.", He said, knowing she would have to be present when he met her cousin.  
"Yeah, I can't wait.", She said with an awkwardness that Hiccup usually displayed.  
They stood their for another few seconds, before he stole another kiss from her. Longer than the one prior, but just as passionate as the many they had shared back in the cove. His hands help her face as his lips moved slowly against hers, parting them without any effort.  
Her hands came up to the plating surrounding his chest, trying to find a decent grip, but the polished black metal gave little to none. Oh well.  
They pulled apart, a thin trail of saliva connecting them at the lips, Camicazi kissing it away.  
"I love you.", It was said mutually between the two of them, but both whispered it, afraid of what would happen if they spoke their relationship any louder.  
"Good night, 'Cazi.", He said, backing away from her slowly, hands hanging at his sides, a sad smile tugging at his lips.  
"G'Night, Hiccup.", She smiled back, before making a short jump back to her boat, balancing easily on the railing.  
With that, the two parted to retire for the night.

* * *

With Camicazi

* * *

"I saw that.", No sooner had she entered the cabin she shared with her mother and several others did she hear the overpowering voice.  
"W-what?", She asked, stuttering as memories of her and Hiccup embracing each other minutes ago attacked with a hot blush and trembling of her heart.  
"I said I saw the Haddock boy trying to seduce you, Camicazi. Odin above, what did you think I meant?", The voice continued as her mother walked from behind the door to stand in front of her daughter, breasts just above Cami's head. Odin forbid if the bolts of her breast plate gave away at this moment. Camicazi wouldn't survive the impact-  
"It's not what you think, mom! I swear it was-", Camicazi said in a panicked manner. In her head, she'd heard her mother say something along the lines of "I saw you polishing his spear while he tarnished your shield.", and she'd been seconds away from exposing their act when she realized what her mother actually said, at the same moment her mother held up a hand to silence her.  
"Calm down, Camicazi. It's not your fault your my daughter and every young man is trippin' on his equipment to have at ye. Just be sure to let'em know you're in control of what you do, understood?", That received a weary, slightly terrified nod form her child. Every young boy was after her? Oh god, that meant Snotlout... and Tuffnut...  
"Ew."  
"Eh? Speak up, Camicazi.", That was followed by a momentary blank look on her mother's face, "Wow, I never though I'd use those three words in the same sentence."  
"Uh... I said... He wasn't trying to seduce me, mom.", It may not have been the best subject to deffer to, but it was better than talking about all the boys that weren't Hiccup being interested in her.  
"Well of course he is! He's obviously heard about yer cousin and she's just too much woman for'em!", Bertha said as she puffed out her chest, not noticing how the tide seemed to rise with them, or the way the light bent along the curvature-  
"So he figures that he can seduce a less warrior...ry woman of the family to sate his urges. But he's barking up the wrong tree if he thinks he can limp his way into the Hofferson women's chastity belts."  
"Mom, two things. First, ew! Stop talking about that! We've already had that talk! Dozen's of times for ridiculous reasons.", She had to consciously repress the memory of her mom giving her THE TALK after seeing Camicazi pull a knife with a broad flat handle from inside her pants. It had slipped from the waist band earlier when she was walking about! That was it! THERE WAS NO OTHER REASON FOR IT BEING THERE! "Second, Hiccup's not like that. He doesn't want to marry or have ssssssssssseeeeeeeeee- kids with anyone.", She said, lying through her slightly gap front teeth. She knew Hiccup liked to have sex. Or at least prior to sex activities for the time being. With her.  
"And you know this how, Camicazi?", Bertha said, a suspicious eye cast down on her daughter.  
"Mom, if he wanted to have a baby with me, would I look this good?", She said, hands on her hips as she opened her cloak with her arms so it resembled a cape. A cape coated in sea salt.  
Bertha let out a hearty laugh, much to Camicazi's relief. Her mother didn't catch her in this lie, fortunately.  
"Yer right, Camicazi! The poor boy is as hopeless as he is lame!"  
"SHUT UP!"  
"TRYIN' T'SLEEP!"  
"GET OUT OR BE QUIET!"  
"ALRIGHT!", Her mother said, gaining groans from the other females sleeping in their beds, mostly undisturbed.  
"I'll just be... uh...", Camicazi said, awkwardly pointing to her hammock in a corner, "...Yeah, good night, mom.", She said, quickly flopping herself into the hanging fabric and feeling it twirl around her with the force. Luckily she was too experienced to fall out of it. While awake at least.

* * *

The next morning

* * *

"Hiccup? It's time to get up son.", Stoic said lowly as he opened the door to his son's room and peered in carefully, at not seeing his son in his bed he opened the door more to see Hiccup sitting at his desk with his head nestled in his arms and his upper body bare of his flight chest piece. He honestly shouldn't have been surprised to find the boy...er, young man sleeping at his desk instead of his bed. He was, however, very surprised to see the shoulder piece Hiccup had torn off was now attached to the chest piece once again. It surprised him because he had went to sleep with the piece by his bedside in his room, and he was not a heavy sleeper.  
'I swear, Hiccup is acting more and more like Camicazi and the Bog Burglars than he is a future chief...'  
"Hiccup...", He called again, not getting much of a response aside from Hiccup groaning and turning his head the other way as it stayed nestled in his arms.  
With a sigh, Stoic took a deep breath before walking into the room, placing himself behind hiccup as he reached out and gave his unarmored upper body a slightly shake. When he got another groan from his son, he went with a tactic he knew would work, though it was a slight blow to his ego as a father. When he opened his mouth to speak, he imitated Gobber's voice as best he could, "Oi, Hiccup! Ye done with those swords I gave to ye or nae?"  
The response was instantaneous.  
"I already fixed those Gobber, they're next to old hammer on the anvi-", Hiccup stopped as he sat up to point at the anvil in question only to stop as he found himself waking up in his room instead of the forge, "Huh? Gobber?", Turning he found his dad there with a somewhat surprised, somewhat concerned look on his face, "...Oh...".  
"Uh, time to get up son." Stoic said as he stood there wondering how was it that his son came to respond to Gobber better than he did to his own father.  
"Oh, uh, okay. Thanks...dad...", Hiccup said as he got up and went about getting changed, Stoic thankfully leaving the room after Hiccup vacated his chair. Today was going to be many things; Hectic, stressful, awkward, enraging, and above all...  
Unwanted.  
-End Chapter 1-  
A/N: I think I'm one of the few people who include Camicazi in their AU's and don't make her an irritating venomous bitch. Seriously people, what the heck?  
Aside from that, it looks like we may get a (sorta) love triangle going on; Hiccup and Camicazi are in a forbidden love, Hiccup and Camicazi's cousin Astrid are getting engaged for the sake of their tribes, and Astrid and Hiccup don't seem to like each other very much. Believe it or not I had this same idea a bit farther back and it had Hiccup and Merida being in love with Hiccup having to later marry Astrid, and Astrid would know about the love between hiccup and Merida but the two would break it off the night before the engagement and at some point in the future Hiccup and Astrid would have a child of their own with Merida being Married off to-*Puts on protective armor* Hiccup's cousin Snotlout. They too would have kids but Snotlout would focus primarily on bonding with his oldest and only son, while Hiccup bonded with Merida and Snot's daughters, not neglecting his own children, but Astrid never brings it up that she knew about the two's love. Not even when she, Merida, passes away giving birth to her fourth child and second son, who looks exactly like Hiccup. The child is like a mini Hiccup in every sense of the word and many a rumor and question the relationship between the two, but Hiccup and Merida were on separate parts of the word the entire time of the child's conception and birth. Roughly two years. At some point, Hiccup saves Astrid, proving he does love her but not to the same extent as he did Merida... Did I mention that Hiccup and Astrid have six kids(3 Boys, 3 Girls) while Merida and Targetpractice have four(2 Boys, 2 Girls). Also Merida never grows to love Snotlout but loves her kids equally. Plus Hiccup punches Snot in the face for not bonding with his other three kids and Snotlout accuses Hiccup of an affair with Merida that caused her death and the Birth of Haphazard(Merida's fourth babe). Yeah, crazy...  
Man this has to be one of the longest Author's notes that mention another story that didn't get started or typed.  
Either way, review and tell me what you think. And yes, I have too much free time. But I never have enough free time or internet access with Fanfiction. Sense is not made around me.  
Review!  
Also: I think, during the course of time that I didn't have immediate internet access on my laptop that I wrote at least five first chapters that are the longest in the whole story. Free time.  
Finished: 3-27-14, 11:46 AM.

I graduated high school at on May 30th, so i should have some time left. Did I mention the great majority of this chapter were written on two sticky note files in my laptop?


	2. Chapter 2

In Berk, Village Bathhouse

* * *

Hiccup sighed as he ran the wet cloth across his face, the warm water seeming to add extra fatigue to his body as he got whatever filth had accumulated over the previous day off. He neglected the bleaching soap most favored and instead just pulled the rope for the cold water, holding his breath as the chilling water hit him like a sudden rain.

It at least had the added benefit off waking him up from the heat induced drowsiness of his wash, initially taking off what remained of the cleaning oils on his back and torso.

As the frigid barrage ended, he stood up again, upper torso tilted to the right to compensate for the desire to fall without the support of his prosthetic, and made his way over to where the towel he brought was.

Only, when he reached out to grab the towel, it wasn't there. He felt more to the left, nope. Farther to the right, nothing. Further up the platform, zilch.

"Camicazi.", He sighed, bringing up his right hand to brush the mess of sopping brown hair from his eyes, seeing the offender standing in front of him on the bench his hand was still resting on. Her arms were crossed, his towel casually tossed over her shoulder and his prosthetic tucked under her left arm, the leather and cloth needed for securing it in place and comfort respectively wrapped around the top portion how he had left it.

"That's my name. Feel free to say it some more.", She mocked him in the same hushed tone, both aware of the absolute chaos they'd insight if she were to be caught in here with him.

"Towel.", He said, as he sat down, facing away from her and holding up his right hand. This only prompted her to lean over him to see down at his lap, holding the aforementioned towel behind her back as she admired him.

"You look better without it, in my honest opinion.", She said as she instead handed him the prosthetic instead. She remembered him having chest hair, but nowhere near this much. And when did it form a darkening strip down to his-?

"Your opinion, regardless of how honest and or factual it maybe, is moot. How many others, as in females, can say they've seen me without clothes and find me more attractive?", He asked as he went about putting the prosthetic on, readjusting the buckles and cloth so there was far less slack and grinding against his now gradually desensitized nub. The skin had thankfully thickened over the years and multiple readjustments had made it so if he had another dreaded climb in height, he wouldn't immediately regain his more noticeable limp.

"Well, there's-"

"Not counting Tinkerbell, Vidia or Faun.", He said, not wanting to relive the memory of the energetic and inventive tinkerer or the boisterous yet surprisingly gentle beast tamer from the so called Neverland. The less said about the sharp tongued dark haired one of the trio, the better. It had been completely accidental that they'd managed to walk in on him the exact moment he decided to dry his clothes next to the Nadder fueled Hearth of the Forge. Granted all three were nothing short of quite lovely, and each sported a lovely pair of-

He wasn't going to go there. No. Bad Husband-To-Be Hiccup. You had Camicazi...

You **had** had Camicazi.

Had...huh...

Astrid! He'd have Astrid.

And as far as anyone else was concerned, he'd never had Camicazi. And he had certainly never known her in anyway other than a friend. A female friend that he'd... Been with and intimately explored the previous night...

Dammit, by the fiery grace of Freyja, he was not going to have this predicament here.

"Well, there's... What about... Ooh, I know that...", Hiccup was pulled from his lower issue, looking up to see her face scrunch up at the brow as she tried to remember any female who'd managed what many have tried and few(s in Tink', Faun, Vidia and she) had accomplished.

"Well, I'm waiting.", Good thing he'd learned to stay calm whilst flying, or else his voice would have wavered in just the way that brought out the left sock stealing troll that was a mischievous Camicazi.

"...Dang it. I've got nothing.", She said as she accepted this loss and handed him the towel, still eyeing his lap until he stood facing away from her and began to towel himself off. This only gave her an alternative, just as eye pleasing, viewing of his anatomy, "When did you get so...?"

"So...what?", He asked as he turned his head back to her, hair falling back into his face from where he had tried to slick it back.

"Sooo...", She said as she gestured up and down at him, "This. So this."

"You just gestured to all of me.", He sighed as he turned back around and continued to dry himself. Why wouldn't his hair stay slicked back? It was long enough that its own weight should hold it down yet it kept falling before his forehead in that way that the opposite, and the occasional same, sex seemed to prefer.

And right now he didn't really want to seem appealing to any sex. The less appealing, the better the chances of this marriage being called off. Hopefully, there would be no war.

But, if peace and diplomacy were a no sell...

"Well, not many things can no sell a Night Fury blast..."

"Um, that's kinda dark, Hiccup. I don't even know what you're talking about and I don't think I want to right now. Or at all. Or ever.", 'Cazi said, stepping a bit away whilst still on the elevated platform. Combined with the way his head was lowered, and how they were alone in the dimly lit room, she'd imagine she were the unfortunate victim in one of those tragic Greased stories.

Hiccup's eyes widened in shock. Had he just said that out loud?

"Um, it's nothing, 'Cazi. Just thinking about... Target practice.", He lied, bringing the towel back up to finish drying his hair, "I've got to go soon 'Cazi."

"Right, I got it.", She said, her semi-sarcastic voice already growing distant, "Can't be caught with your fiance-to-Be's cousin. I was never here."

It always perturbed him that she could move so quietly, even over creaky floorboards, crunching gravel, or crinkling ice. Didn't help that he'd given her boots lined with fur at the soles to minimize what sound she did make.

"Oh, by the way Hiccup..." Suddenly her voice was right next to his right ear, his hair and the towel keeping her warm breath only hitting his hand and his fully flushed face hidden, "It's really impolite to point. Besides, I thought that was supposed to go away after a cold shower."

In the second it took him to remove the towel from his head, she was completely gone, as though she had never been there. The only thing of her existence remaining was the soft echoing chortle of victory she gave and left in her wake. To be honest, this had made him question their interactions back in their shared childhood. She'd appear, scare him whilst he worked the forge or was drawing, strike up conversation and continue on until he tuned her out or wasn't paying attention, then vanish and reappear around him repeatedly till he was visibly unnerved. The fact that no one else brought this up only further screwed with him. As far as a younger Hiccup had been concerned, Camicazi had been either a ghost that decided to affably haunt him, or a severely realistic figment of his imagination.

Oh well, no time to reminisce. He had to get dressed and meet his wife.

That didn't sound right.

No, not wife.

Not yet.

Fiance.

Ah jeez.

That didn't help.

It truly, honestly didn't.

* * *

In Slash, Private Hot Spring

* * *

A sigh escaped her as she lay in the water, eyes closed and ears deafened by the flowing water filling them.

Face flushed from the heat and completely clear of said water with hair darkened to a billowing golden brown, she cast a shard contrast to the slightly sun bleached, pale skinned face of death she normally adorned with paints and inks to give her a visage like that of fierce and focused bird of prey.

Granted, she'd yet to encounter a bird of prey with big blue eyes, rosy round cheeks and a, dare she admit it, dainty nose. She still struck an imposing figure.

If she stood far away a on top of something higher than her knees.

So lost in her bath and thoughts on her less than threatening appearance, that she committed one of the greater sins. At least in her book.

She allowed herself to drop her guard.

Someone had taken advantage of this lapse in awareness to sneak up on the wife to be. Something few would dare to do.

And they were armed.

A pointed boop to her nose brought this to the front of her mind as she snapped her eyes open and reached up and out of the water to grab the offending finger and snap it in her right hand, twisting around to bring her legs down and feet to the heated smooth stones at the bottom of the shallow end of the spring beneath her, eyes hardened and left fist cocked back and white knuckled to punch and break the nose of whomsoever saw it fitting to die by her hands today.

As she had orientated herself she took a split second to blink away the lingering red imagery of her eyelids while she stood, her dripping hair falling to her shoulders and breasts as they cleared the bubbling water. A cascade of goose bumps rose at the meeting of crisp, cold air and warm, wet skin. Her eyes zeroed in on the trespassers, only to widen a bit as she immediately recognized them.

The mocking grin of her mother met the intensity of her faltering glare with casual mirth. She stood a few feet from the water's edge, Astrid's younger sibling resting cradled in a left shoulder to right rib sling across their mother's torso. The soft brownish curls had grown quite a bit more noticeable in the stronger light of the sun than under the soft glow of the moon. The child remained asleep, a bundled up fist being sucked/gummed upon as the babe shifted ever so slightly with their mother's movements.

In their mother's hands she held a long, thinning branch with just enough weight to the end that Vendetta could softly whip her daughter's nose without, accidentally, putting out her eyes. The tip of said branch rested in Astrid's clenched fist, twisted off like a leg of mutton or chicken, and snapped/bent in more places than a functioning arm.

Astrid swore the woman lived to torment her after that one summer a small bundle of blonde hair and thin limbs had jumped out of many a place to startle her mother, each time a horrendously side splitting success. Astrid couldn't remember how many times she had scared her mother in such a manner, but apparently her mother did and hadn't quite reached the point where they could call a truce.

As if someone of Slash would call a-

Oh wait.

Right.

She was to meet her future husband to be today.

Because of a truce.

Where a smile had been working to replace her half glare, a blank, sad expression took up residence instead. This did not go unnoticed by Vendetta as she watched her daughter's fists relax and her arms come up to hold herself, breaking the eye contact as she looked down to the softly bubbling surface of the water.

"Still upset, I see.", Vendetta said, voice devoid of any of her previous mirth as Astrid tossed the murdered twig over her shoulder and dipped further into the water, hair fanning out as she glared softly at her mother's feet, her face up the the ridge of her nose submerged, "Don't want to talk about it?"

All Vendetta received was a large burst of bubbles amidst the much calmer fizz of the spring.

Giving a sigh of defeat, Vendetta tossed away her branch and leaned forward, albeit a bit awkwardly with her bad hip and hanging babe, as she placed one hand on her knees and gave Astrid her best reassuring smile.

"You know you're going to have to get out of there soon, Astrid.", Like hell she'd come out.

This earned her a noticeable head shake, her daughter still mostly submerged and not looking ready to budge.

"Astrid, if you don't get out soon, you're going to get water logged.", Ooh, water logged. So terrifying.

Not like it would do any lasting damage to her. Except maybe give her some temporary wrinkles.

Wait, wrinkles! That's how she's going to get out. If she stayed under she water long enough, she'd come out as wrinkled as an elder. Maybe more so!

This gave Astrid the motivation to backstroke deeper into the spring, her back almost to the steeper wall of dark grey rock.

"Astrid, I know what you're thinking. It's not going to work.", She was met with defiance as Astrid forced herself deeper, the water just coming up to soak her bottom set of eye lashes as her ears took turns being flooded with splashing water. The whole while, she never broke eye contact with her mother. Vendetta inwardly regretted not praying harder for a son more like herself. Made he'd have listened to reason and have thinner skull and cooler head. Oh well, she'd just have to play Astrid's plan against her, "Don't make me come in there, Astrid. Last time I was in a pool of water with a baby, I had just finished pushing you through my-"

Whatever was to be said went unheard to the wife-to-be, as Astrid had quickly ducked under the water, trying to drown what bit of her mother's words had reached her ears. She was going to stay in here till she resembles a featherless boiled chicken. She knew her mother wouldn't risk exposing her sibling to such heated water this early, let alone leave a child unattended near deep water.

Sure it was a bit of a cheap, underhanded tactic. But she was a viking, so underhanded meant understandable, and she knew three things.

She didn't want to get marred anytime soon. She wasn't going to get married anytime soon. She wasn't leaving this water until she looked unfit to be married ever.

Okay, four things. This water was very hot. Mainly when you went deeper.

Especially when you went deeper.

Whew, if she were to get out now she'd be more sweaty than water logged.

Thor's red beard, how hot was this water? It felt like her lungs were burn-

Burning.

Hot water made you need to sweat and breathe more to stay cool and alive. Cold water did much the opposite.

She was barely holding her breath and was nearly touching the rougher rocks lining the deep end of the springs. No sweating to cool down, and no air to breath.

...fuck...

 **By Odin's eye patch what had she been thinking!?**

With lithe, thrashing limbs and a near heaving chest, Astrid burst from the water and swam to the bank of the spring, gasping as though she were previously being strangled and choked. Hair clung to her face in a half blinding, gilded veil, her mouth agape in such a lady like manner that she resembled a elegantly flushed and asphyxiated fish.

Her mother had sat herself down on a rock just high and flat enough to use as a seat, a pile of fresh towels and clothes set next to her feet. The infant now semi-woke and staring up to the vast expanse of cloudy sky above, little eyes all but slits against the glare of the grey expanse.

"Now, would I be wrong to say I told you so?", Vendetta mocked, stroking the child's cheek with a finger.

Ragged breathing was her only answer as the blonde reached out to the towels. Vendetta, not looking from her younger child, deftly kicked a towel from atop the pile to her daughter.

Astrid caught it and pulled the cloth to her body, reveling in the chilling air and condensed steam rolling off her skin, "You'd be an arrogant, smug, cruel, heartless monster of a woman and no lovable mother of mine.", The towel was quickly weighed down by the water, but it held enough heat to her body that she could cope with a bit of sag and dripping.

"So long as I'm not wrong, I'm okay with all of that.", Vendetta said dismissively as she nudged the rest of the towels closer to Astrid. Her eyes didn't leave the babe in her arms as Astrid collected as much of her hair as she could in a twisted bun before bringing a towel around her head, squeezing it to her skull like she were trying to lock in any good ideas she may have been losing.

"These...These aren't my clothes.", Astrid noted, bringing up the new tunic she'd grabbed, mistaking it for her usual sort. Rather than solid grayish blue and white hemming, it was reddish brown, like a rusted nail.

"They are now.", Vendetta said factually, as she lightly rubbed a finger along her child's lips. With a half audible sound of greed, the babe then tried to nurse on her digit. With the chortle of a mother who knew her children, Vendetta moved the infant further into her left arm as she reached up to move the flap of her own tunic to allow the child's feeding, "You'll have to wear their colors and crest as your husband will ours."

Astrid eyed her mother with a raised brow and an expression that was most definitely not that of amusement. She knew it was a tradition to do so. She just never got the significance of it.

And he was not her husband. Yet.

With the grumble of one who had to admit defeat to a weaker, but still victorious opponent, Astrid went about sorting through the clothes to see what horrid combinations she could come up with. The more horrid the packaging, the less appealing the package itself.

Or something to that affect.

With a hidden smile, the fair haired viking heiress went about her next brilliant scheme.

* * *

In Berk Bay, Bog Burglar Boat, Crew Quarters

* * *

Camicazi shook the hammock fabric, looking for her cloak to fall out. She had been wearing it to bed but as soon as she had finished breakfast, she realized it had vanished to parts unknown sometime around her waking up.

"Come on now. I know you're around here!", She groaned , whipping the hanging fabric as hard as she could.

The thump-thump of a hefty dragon alighting on the deck of the ship and rocking the cabin she was currently in alerted her to the arrival of Lyarbird, her deadly Nadder. A somewhat deep chirp and ear grating squawk confirmed it. He was ready for his tuna hunt.

"Gimme a sec here, Lyar! I need to find my cloak!", She called out, not stopping her search during his landing and going about checking the secured trunk near wear her hammock hung. It had no locks aside from a twist in place mechanism added on by their, the Bog Burglars', blacksmith and tinker.

Of course they were made and provided by Hiccup.

As a favor to Camicazi.

Payed for, off the record, with her sneaking off to keep him company in what they came to call Toothless Maw Cove.

And, for the record, some gold she'd swiped from a raided enemy ship along with scrap metal and rope they took as well.

But that was neither here nor there.

Unlocking the trunk, she went about rummaging its contents, making sure to cast a cautious look over her shoulder every ten seconds. Nobody needed to know of her romantic keepsakes, nor who they were from.

Nope, it wasn't in there.

Just everything she shouldn't have.

A letter to her that Hiccup had left in the pouch of her saddle for her to find after he'd made it for her last year. It wasn't much, just a reminder that she still owed him for getting her the higher quality leather and water resistant finish she'd... Persuaded him to provide.

Next was a hand drawn picture of Berk from above that he'd given the night he'd promised her that when or if he became chief, that it would be a sight she could have whenever she wanted.

An ache within her chest told her that she should look elsewhere for the cloak. She didn't heed it.

As she continued, she found the Gronkle Iron dagger he had forged her. A laugh escaped her as she remembered it as the very knife that resulted in her getting her umpteenth "Talk" when it had slipped from her waistband. Oh the irony of Gronkle Iron.

Next was the bracelet he'd woven for her to match the one she'd given him. If one looked at the bands of leather close enough, they'd make out the carvings saying 'Eternally Yours'.

A sob escaped her. A ship shaking thump rocked the cabin as she slammed the lid down and locked it back once more.

Fuck that cloak, she needed to catch Lyarbird some breakfast.

As she walked out of the cabin and was greeted by the mass of purple and grey that made up a confused and ready to fight Lyar, she reached up and grabbed the base spike of his frill and hoisted herself up and into the saddle.

Lyarbird couldn't catch the sight, but he smelt and heard something off about Camicazi. Her face smelt like sea-salt. Her breaths came hard and forced.

When he wasn't given the usual flight command of 'Onward and to the the sky!', Lyarbird simply walked to the edge of the boat jumped off and took flight before he could impact with the water. The two wouldn't return for another twenty minutes. And that was fine by Camicazi.

She needed to scream and cry her pain in private anyway.

* * *

With Hiccup, House of Haddock

* * *

He examined himself in the reflection of the polished silver mirror before him.

A mirror.

What a laugh.

It looked nothing like how he felt.

It showed a young chief to be, ready to meet his fiance, and shoulder the shared duty of leading two tribes as one and protecting two villages.

Oh and sire an heir. That was so important of a detail. **How could one not remember it?**

Inside he felt like he could crumble away and die.

He had Cami-Ahem... He had had Camicazi. He didn't want to co-lead a new unified tribe. Hell, he'd been reluctant to lead the first one himself.

Sure, he'd repaired most everyone's weapons at some point. He'd been a blacksmith's apprentice since he could sharpen a knife! Fixing broken weapons and making them came second to breathing.

And so what if he'd lead the majority of structure repairs around the village in the past two or three years. He understood the basics and complexities of reconstruction and could give the proper orders. Blacksmiths did more than just weapons and armor, you know. Besides, you couldn't have elders, pregnant women or children sleeping in damaged or structurally compromised houses; It just wasn't right.

And besides, he'd only been in charge because his father was out of commission and recovering from Drago's use of the Bewilderbeast and Toothless in an attempt on his(Hiccup, that is) life. The burns weren't nearly as bad as the broken ribs. Takes more than a little fire, or ice, to kill a Haddock.

And yes, he was the trainer for swordsmanship and dragon taming. He was ambidextrous with a shield or sword, giving him an advantage in combat and giving his students the added benefit of knowing how to better combat such a threat. He led the dragon taming mostly due to how much he'd learned from observing and interacting with dragons and having been the first, beside his mother, to form a bond with their long running enemies the Deathdeal-d-Dragons!

Dragons! He'd formed a bond with the Dragons!

Damn.

His tightened brow softened as he pinched his brow and the bridge of his nose, feeling the faint throbbing of compressed veins and arteries there.

It eased the minor migraine he had accumulated as each fact piled up in his head to block the path and flow in his brain known as Thee Nile river.

Who was he kidding.

He was born for this role.

Giving a sigh, he looked at himself in the reflection.

In accordance with tribe unifying marriages, Astrid and he wold have to bear the others' tribe's colors and dress pattern. It signified him as being recognized as one of her tribe and vice versa.

It didn't look quite right.

He didn't really have the natural glaring features for the fear paint to really work. His eyes looked a bit darker and brighter at the same time in contrast to the black face paint. His skin looked paler, and the dark hairs along his jaw were even less prominent beneath it.(In Slash, war paint is generally worn around the eyes by all, but it extends from the outer corners of the eyes and down along the visible portion of the jaw to stop short of the chin on men to emphasize their hardiness and connection to earth. On women it extended upwards and framed the forehead, emphasizing the more caring and thoughtful quality of a women's hearts and heavenly virtue.)

He was wearing a black bear cape, as all Tribal Chieftains were expected to. Under that he wore a hard grey tunic, with leather bindings at his biceps, a single circular metal plate depicting a (slightly more detailed) skull being split from above with a knife bound to his right forearm. It was meant to act as a secondary shield for the weak(left) side. Obviously, they didn't have many, if any, individuals who favored the left for swordplay.

This would translate oh so nicely, with plenty of understanding.

On his lower half, he sported a sword sheath on his left, inverted as it was meant for...Yeah. He wore black leggings with extra plating over the legs, though at least he didn't have to worry about it weighing him down too much.

His boot was grey furred, with a metal cap over the toes, four sturdy spikes adorning it. He really hoped that was for decoration. Sure, they were vikings, but literally kicking someone while they were down was not his style.

Run them through with a flaming sword, equal parts cutting them vitally and cauterizing the wound? Yep.

Bash their windpipe closed with his shield's edge? Of course, he was born and raised in a viking tribe. Shields were more important than swords half the time.

A simple decapitation? Theatrically dry and overdone sure, but as effective as you can get.

Sick Toothless or Camicazi on them? Multiple times, and yes.

But this...

Maybe he just didn't see much value in putting his remaining foot that close to someone not yet dead...

The door to this room opened and a familiar face came into view, a hand covering her eyes as she spoke, "Hiccup? Are you decent?"

Jumping from the mirror and pulling the cloak to him like a towel of modesty, he felt his face heat up, "Mom! Does anybody in this village knock anymore?!"

Taking that as a yes, Valka dropped her hand and smiled at her son, the normal jubilant spark in her eyes a bit subdued reasonably given the occasion, "Oh, Hiccup, don't be so embarrassed. I've seen you in the buff more times than I've seen you on Toothless." And that was a lot.

"If I'm correct; Most, if not all of those times, were at most twenty years ago.", He said as he released the cloak and gestured back over his shoulder for emphasis in his Hiccup way, "You know, I've developed this thing called modesty around humans in that time, right?"

Valka gave a chortle before fully entering his room, her hands coming up to his shoulders to adjust the folds of the cloak around the clasps holding it to his tunic, "Oh son, you've got nothing I haven't seen on your father. Brown hair and metal foot excluded, of course."

Face squishing up a bit at that, Hiccup rolled his eyes in an attempt to dislodge that image, "Not the sobering thought I'd like to have in my head today, but, uh, I feel somewhat better. If not deathly ill."

The tension in the air gone, Valka stepped back to look at her son. He really had grown into quite the young man in her absence. Well of course a seven month old would grow into a man in just over twenty years. Still, she had missed so much...

He turned to examine himself once in the reflection, finding that the cloak now hung a bit behind his shoulders a bit more, making him appear just a bit broader of chest and shoulder than he was, even without his flight armor. He stood straighter, breathing in and puffing his chest out as much as he could without choking on his own breath.

"Ah, look at you. Playing Chief even at this point in your life."

And he deflated once again.

"Mooooom.", Shoulders and chest dropping, he sighed and let his head fall back, all confidence he'd been building up cut down to a half of a half of known what so ever.

"Oh, Hiccup. I'm half crazy, a dragon tamer and married to a viking Chief. You should expect this kind of torment.", She said whimsically, but you'd have to be blind to not see the brimming tears in her blue-green eyes. She and Stoic had married out of love, not necessity. Theirs was a event for Berk's history books; Seven days of brawling, bawling, drinking, singing and dancing.

Had she had her say, or at the very least the abilities to stay awake and walk about, at the time, this would have been a purely diplomatic event. With peace for all and a kick to the teeth of tradition for good measure.

But she hadn't been there, for years...

A sob escaped her pursed lips as she looked from her young man to the floor near the curled up and watching Toothless.

Turning, he brought her into a hug, letting her sob out her sorrows in his new clothes.

Great. Just great.

Now he felt like crying.

Hopefully, his clothes would be ruined and the marriage called off-No, bad Hiccup. Make Mom feel better.

He was interrupted from his internal conflict of interests by Stoic walking up to and into the room, taking both son and wife into a soft embrace, "Come now you two. The boats are waiting."

Separating, Valka wiped at her eyes and nose, regaining what bit of composure a mother could on the day her son was to be given away to another tribe. And meet his fiance.

Turning to his father, Hiccup had to physically drag his eyes from his own feet to meet Stoic's not so stoic gaze. The effort alone was enough to mentally exhaust him. One benefit being that it, the effort, broke the hesitant hold on his vocal chords he had on since waking that same morning.

"Dad, I know what I said yesterday was...", He spoke, his voice fluctuating between audible hesitance to cracking emotion, his hands heavy as he tried to convey the message even he struggled to fully comprehend, "I'm sorry, I just have so many...things just happening right now and I just couldn't hold myself together. I didn't mean what I said when I-" Stoic quickly shut him up with a strong hug that left his eyes warm and puffy like he'd shed all the tears he knew Cami' certainly had.

"It's okay son.", Stoic shushed him further, rubbing his hair as he had when Hiccup barely passed the height of his knee, "I know. I wish it could have gone differently. All of it."

They remained like this for a another moment or two, Valka watching with eyes taking turns being open as she rubbed a seemingly unceasing leak of tears. She hadn't heard the initial argument itself, having been returning from the New Nest the previous night whilst both had slumbered. Gobber had made sure to tell her between Hiccup leaving for the bathhouse and returning, with Stoic off making sure the arrangements for departure were together and well.

As her two not-at-all sensitive, manly men parted, Valka approached them and rubbed their cheeks, with a faux mocking chuckle, "C'mon now you two blubbering babies. We have a fiance and future daughter to meet."

Aaand the Yak's back was broken.

He was afraid that he'd ruin his fearpaint, because now he really felt like crying.

Because that fiance was not Camicazi.

'Get smart Haddock!', He chided himself internally, falling behind his father and in front of his mother as the three made their way down the stairs and to the front door, 'You didn't cry when you woke up sans a foot and that hurt for a year! You made peace with the dragons! You killed Drago! You protect and serve those who need you! You got this!'

At the door, Stoic stepped to the side and stood to his left with Valka coming forward to stand at his right, both framing the door.

He looked each in the eye and, with a deep breath, nodded to them.

Stoic and Valka nodded in return, pushing open the door.

The assembled villagers watched as Hiccup emerged from the shadows of his home into the light. He looked like a Deathdealer.

He looked like a Chief.

'You got this!'

He strode down the steps, cloak bellowing behind him as the winds off the sea struck him. He could smell the sea salt.

He thought of her.

Then he saw her.

She stood toward the bottom of the hill with Lyarbird, her mother and tribe, acting as a neutral party in this event. Ties with both tribes, being by blood or being allies, made one neutral. Less someone broke the rules.

No. He could do this.

'You got this.'

As he passed, their eyes met. His were hardened, hers were reddened. They felt their hearts thunder to life, forcing them to break hold of each others gaze, less someone hear of their hidden feelings in the rhythms of their chests.

He continued down the hill, the fleet boats gathered at the docks becoming more detailed and looming ominously as he approached.

As he took his place at the front of the ship, Stoic and Valka flanked him, Gobber behind them. He lifted his arm, fist clenching as he held it up and punched it out slowly to the expanse of water before them, silently signalling to the gathered crew to set sail and row.

The boats left the bay as a simultaneously cold and warm texture entered his right palm. Looking down, he saw Toothless nuzzling his hand. He scratched along the dark drakes dome, finding the favored spot along the base of Toothless's skull. The crooning and purring helped ease his nerves as the boat continued to the meeting point.

His chest hurt.

'I...I got this.'

* * *

With Astrid, Hofferson family ship, the waters between Slash and the previous Dragon's Nest

* * *

She stood at the head of the formation of her mother, father and Erit, the right hand of her father.

She felt many things right now. The soft sway of the ship. The strong slap of the water against said ship's underside. The chilling spray on the breeze. The Lopperlimb in her hands. Even the faint swinging of her clothes where the fabric didn't conform to her body.

But she didn't feel anything like herself. She felt like an imposter in the skin of Astrid Hofferson in the clothes of an alien race.

She wore the clothes of a Hairy Hooligan from Berk. Her fringe of hair was held back from her face, in a tight braid curved up against her scalp with the the rest of her fair tresses.

The colors she bore looked and felt out of place on her body. Greens, reds and browns with complimenting linings. The only thing that felt right, even at the vaguest definition of the word, were the necklace of a sow bear's canine teeth and the matching leather bracers of the same bruin's claws at her forearms. Symbols of a female chief, a motherly figure and wife. For obvious reasons, their was no 'or' about it. Just as well, they represented maternity.

Not exactly something worth celebration, if you asked her. But it was for the good of her people.

She had willed her damn hardest to ruin this event, but her heart and body weren't with the plan. The treacherous hag meat bag.

She'd dressed as decently as could be for the occasion, much to her chagrin. A foreign, alien feeling breast plate covered her chest wraps with two layers of cloth over that. With Berk further North than Slash and having dealt with dragons and opposing forces far more frequently than Slash, the need for insulation as well as extra armor was apparently the norm for the residents. And soon, her as well.

Around her waist she bore a tightly wrapped sash of strong wool, meant to later cover a pregnant stomach and even later carry a child to free her arms. Her mother had informed her that it could also be used to strangle an opponent with one hand while the other held the child.

A lovely thought for sure, but she didn't want to think of children right now, lest it be the children she assisted in training back on Slash.

Below the sash, a vertically segmented leather skirt with metal plates reached past her knees, covering dark brown leggings and grazing the tops of the typical fur lined boots/moccasins they wore.

A flicker of motion to her right pulled her from her self loathing self inspection. She turned and saw Erik Eritson, Oldest son of Erit on a boat to her family ship's port. Or Eret, Oldest son of Erik. Son of Eret? Youngest? Only? Ugh, irrelevant, whatever be the case. A former "Dragon Trapper" in Drakko Bloodyfists'(or something similar) army. Following the madman's defeat, and even later death at the hands of her soon to be fiance/husband, Erik had reconciled with his father and become a neutral(ish) ally to both Slash and Berk with his band of Trappers turned Tamers. Much the same way her cousin Camicazi had.

From what he'd told her, Camicazi and Bertha, Astrid's paternal cousin and aunt, were at best good friends with the Haddocks. At worst they, Stoic the Vast and Boisterous Big Boobied Bertha, were rivals on good terms with each other.

Especially in the case of their children and heirs, the much revered Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third and Camicazi the Calamitous. She suspected there might be something between them. Tales of their ventures more often then not featured the both of them in great significance.

Once they were jokes. To bring them up in the right or wrong company meant laughs all around, or a brawl to be had.

The Runt of Berk. The Chatterbox of Cleft Toes Cove.

Now, they had songs, tales, hymns, even some monuments. And undoubtedly impressive titles.

The Great Dragon Tamer, The Drake Rider, and He Who Mounts the Alpha. The Specter of the Seven Seas, The Callous Heiress, and the Cacophonous Killer.

Astrid herself was no slouch, and a had a collection of titles of her own reputation. None of which had ever been an insult to her, but...

But they paled in comparison much like a blonde to a brunette.

Astrid The Deathly Beauty, She of the Rolling Head, The Deadly Deceptively Dainty Draugr(That one morning she was shaken awoke, something that should best not done again), and The Fair Frigid Freyja.

She hadn't slain a massive dragon. She didn't stop a three centuries long war. She just killed around 58 invaders and beheaded a pirate captain, conquering his ship and crew for her own.

Not exactly something to write an epic for. At best, she'd just rank third below the two of them, as the wife of The Great Dragon Tamer. Aside from what Dragons she'd fought off when the war still raged, she had nothing to really stand against their titles.

The sudden jerk of the boat shook her free of her thoughts and footing. Looking about, she saw something she'd not expected.

Nor wished.

They'd reached the former Dragons' Nest.

* * *

With Camicazi, The former Dragon's Nest lands

* * *

She was leading a group of Bog Burglars along the shore, looking to make contact with Eret and his party. From atop Lyarbird, she had a good view of the land, with his spiked frill making a good shield from incoming projectiles.

She really didn't want to be here right now. She wanted to be back in Toothless Maw Cove, cuddling Hiccup's metal plated chest and watching the stars through the clouds and hazy afterglow.

But that would be bad, like that time she and Lyarbird sneaked into the mess hall and ate forty loaves bread. One for her, thirty-six for him and three that were squished under(dragon)foot. It wasn't like it was four tens or anything.

But this time, if she did something and got caught, there would be war. And among the Bog Burglars and Death Dealers, fighting(to the death) within the family was a very damnable sin. About up there with, willing and wittingly, being involved with someone engaged to another family member.

Either one, she was damned to a lower quality afterlife in Helheim.

"Camicazi!"

She jumped, eyes focusing on the image of Eret through Lyarbird's spikes. He was looking at her with a concerned look in his eyes. He had his hands resting on Lyar's beak, to hold him from having almost trampled him when she had failed to halt their advance.

"Um...", At a loss for words, she scraped the currently barren insides of her skull for anything to save face at the moment. She said the worst thing possible, "Hiccup's ready to meet his bride."

It hurt.

* * *

He saw the emotion flit across her face and knew that those five words hurt her more then that time Skullcrusher had sat on his foot with full plate armor on. He liked the dragon and it pained him only so to return him to Stoic upon his recovery, but something's he could go without.

As a former tracker and trapper he could tell things about dragons and people once you got enough clues. And it would have taken him being blind, deaf and dumb to not see the connection between Camicazi and Hiccup.

With the announcement that both Astrid and Hiccup were on the island, the ceremony was underway. Racks of uncooked meat were unloaded, the dragons kept at bay with many a strip of eel meat laid across fish barrels. Barrels of the best mead they could offer were stacked in a long waving row, ready for the drunken battles of metered rhyme and drinking songs.

The preparations for tonight were well on their way.

But above all else, it was time.

The betrothed were to meet.

Returning to the shore he greeted his father and Reap accordingly. He was accompany Astrid and her mother on the ship, as Camicazi was to accompany Hiccup and his mother, as the actual officiation of the engagement itself had to be on land, seeing as how the agreement had been made on calm waters. To follow through on dry land 'solidified' the engagement.

He sighed mentally.

This was going to became whole new flavor of uncomfortable.

* * *

He was terrified.

He couldn't do this.

He'd rather go to war now.

He was having second thoughts.

He couldn't feel his left foo-wait a minute...

"Remember to breathe, Hiccup.", His mother advised him, her hands alighting on his shoulders.

Breathing in and out quickly, he brought a hand to his chest, feeling and hearing his heart go a hundred knots in seconds.

How long had he been holding his breath? His face was flushed almost purple. His vision had begone to fade.

"...Better, now try to calm down as well.", Valka said as she rubbed the back and base of his skull to placate him, before she remembered that mostly worked on-

"Still not a dragon, Mom.", Hiccup said, his voice still a bit panicked but with a decent tone of amusement to it.

With a huff, Valka softly pushed his head to the side a bit, her own smile growing in exasperation, "Well, I tried to help you, but nooo, 'Hiccup doesn't like raw fish like Toothless does', 'Hiccup doesn't need his scales inspected for parasites like Toothless does', 'Hiccup doesn't appreciate Mum's help like Toothless does.'", she spoke, gesturing around with her staff and counting off with her fingers as she jokingly brought up the many instances where twenty years of dragon saving had dulled her ability to act as a mother to a human.

Laughing a bit at her hysterics, Hiccup rubbed his hair back into place, feeling his nerves settle once more, "It's not that I don't appreciate your help, I just prefer not having my food pre-chewed these days."

That had been a rather interesting dinner, for sure. He couldn't say it was delicious as he'd slipped the food to Toothless under the table whilst his mother had been in the process of chewing his father's food. By virtue of being Stoic, and married to Valka, he found this cooking to be a vast improvement in flavor.

Despite herself, Camicazi laughed, remembering how Hiccup had rushed to the docks and washed his mouth out with near freezing sea water after Valka had insisted on giving him seconds AND watching him eat it. He couldn't bring himself to hurt her feelings, so... Let's just say that Toothless felt absolutely betrayed when he bounded down to the docks hoping for seconds only to find Hiccup couldn't voluntarily regurgitate a previous meal.

Even if he wanted to.

"What are you laughing at? I seem to recall you having trouble keeping pre-chewed salmon down yourself.", Hiccup verbally jabbed her, turning to gesture an arm at her.

Not one to be caught off guard, Camicazi fired back, "After years of eating my mom's charred cooking, it was simply a shock to eat food with moisture in it.", She said raising her hands from beneath her cloak(it had been taken by her mother and cleaned) defensively and gesturing to her stomach, "This poor thing thought I was drowning and taking on water."

The three laughed at that, the three dragons onboard the ship confused as to why the riders looked fit to regurgitate, but no fish appeared. Humans, always pulling their tales this way and that.

All merriment ceased when a horn was heard blowing across the water, signalling the approach of Astrid, Vendetta and Erik.

As they, Hiccup and Valka, turned to see the fast approaching ship, Camicazi hefted a conch from beneath her cloak. After a failed blow, she licked her lips before attempting once again, remembering to blow from her diaphragm and not her cheeks.

The bellow of her horn carried out around them, drawing forth the collection of boats hidden in the fog behind them. In the shrinking distance, he saw the skull stabbing knife decorating the Death Dealer sails of the house of Hofferson boat.

In nigh no time at all, the two main ships were starboard to starboard, two slabs of wood present for the two to cross and meet. With a deep breath, Hiccup stepped up and crossed, doing his best to not see the massive circle of boats surrounding them now.

Tradition dictate that the soon to be groom of the engagement present himself on the boat of the soon to bride, to put himself at a tactical disadvantage. In relation it was like how a man is at his most vulnerable with a women when she is in a position that puts her hands around his...ahem, yeah. Further elaboration not necessarily needed there.

Looking to the three on deck, he saw the dark haired Astrid, her fair haired mother behind her holding what appeared to be a baby in a bundle of cloth, and Erik himself front and center to greet him as he stepped down from the boards.

* * *

Astrid

* * *

She was terrified.

He looked more like Death Dealer than she felt.

He had metal foot, for Odin's sake! And yet he walked with a grace like he was born with it.

He was taller than she expected from the name "Hiccup". He was no wall of a man like her father, but the way Erik nodded to him with Ernest respect, something she hadn't even garnered from the tattoo chinned outsider, made her wary of stepping forth or relinquishing her hold on her sibling.

And the deathly black... Thing that made to follow behind him **onto their boat** looked like it had crawled straight out of the unlit corners of her night terror riddled youth.

"Greetings, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, son of Stoic the Vast and Valka the Strange.", Erik spoke, drawing his sword and holding it vertically in front of himself before stabbing it down, without destroying the planks of wood at his feet, "I present to you Astrid the Deathly Beauty, Vendetta the Kindheart, and ...", She zoned out of Erik's introduction of her sibling, doing her best to not back up and hide further behind her mother.

" Thank you, Erik, Son of Erit.", He spoke with the slightest of smiles, turning to look at her, her mother and her sibling, "Hello Astrid.", Holy shit, how did he know her name?! "I've been told many things about you." He spoke as he advanced on her mother, taking her hand... Wait a minute...

"Um... Hiccup.", Erik spoke up, his previously stoic demeanor replaced by a facial expression she could only call the bastard child of concerned and mirth.

"Huh?", Hiccup turned to Erik, his calm evaporating in the instant it took him to do so.

"That's Vendetta, Astrid's mother."

"...Oh..."

"Astrid is the blonde one holding her sibling.", Erik spoke, leaning his head towards her as her sibling tugged on her tunic with a sound of impatience.

A snorting laugh reached their ears as she and Erik turned to see...her cousin Camicazi straighten herself back up beside an older women who bore a striking resemblance to Hiccup, her lips curling a bit with barely restrained laughter at the nervousness of the Haddock boy.

Hiccup turned back to her mother releasing her hand as if burned, his pale face visibly flushing where the fear paint was absent.

Well, at least they were both good and terrified.

"My sincerest apologies Lady Vendetta.", Hiccup rushed the words out as quickly as his jaw would work, his hands up in a placating manner as if he expected mother to lunge and bite his throat out for the offense, "In my nervousness I mistook you for Astrid and her for you due to the baby-", He fell silently as Vendetta held up a hand, Astrid guessing there to be a gentle smile upon her lips.

"My pride is no more damaged than it was when I awoke this morning, Son of Haddock. Honestly, I'd have been more upset if you'd confused me for the babe. I mean, honestly,", She spoke as she gestured to her chest, midsection and lower body, "Do I look like I was born a month ago?"

Hiccup's mouth moved about, but no words were formed that could be considered a language. After his third attempt to say something intelligible, Vendetta seized him by the arm and gently guided him over to Astrid before holding her hands out in anticipation for Astrid to relinquish the baby.

Giving her mother what's definition not a fearful wide eyed stare, Astrid reluctantly handed over her shield- I mean sibling, her mother stepping onto the planks to join the other two females, Erik helping her down and removing the planks.

The ship rocked a bit roughly as Snaremaw, Erik's change wing, lifted from deck behind where he'd been standing and alighted on the Haddock's ship.

She truly, honestly, had no idea it had been there.

Turning back to Hiccup, she realized just how tall he was compared to her. She was looking directly into his clavicle/collarbone region. Stepping back a tiny bit, she looked up to meet his gaze.

His eyes were green.

A soft, almost disarming green.

Suddenly anger flooded her. Her heart danced in her chest. Her knuckles turned white as bone and hard as a sword pummel.

She punched him in the unarmored chest.

It was like punching oak.

Her punch wasn't something to shrug at either, and he stumbled back, a brief flash of pain across his face as he runner the spot.

"Why would you do that!?"

With what courage remained in her at the moment, she grabbed him by his tunic and brought them close, her lips on his as she went as far on her toes as she could to eliminate the distance.

* * *

He was tense at first, the sound of the thing from hell hissing in the distance fresh in their ears.

They remained that way for a few seconds before his hands came up to grip her upper arms, pulling her closer to him. Their lips grew less tense and moved softly, their hearts thundering in their ears.

She moved her head against his the tension in her face disappearing as he softened his grip on her arms and seemed to cradle her. Her hand relinquished his tunic, sliding up his neck to steady herself in this alien position.

They parted finally, lips almost bruised and faces flushed as they looked the other in the eye.

Neither saw love.

But what they did see was a future.

A better future for their own people.

Soon it would their people.

And soon, maybe, there would be love.

* * *

She lowered the telescope from her watering eye, "We...We have liplock.", She passed it to Erik, quickly taking the moment to calm her breathing and will the tears from her eyes. There would be time to cry when she was drunk, alone and far removed from the public eye.

Hel, she was already feeling plenty alone now.

"Well then, it looks like we have a feast to commence.", He spoke as he spied the newly engaged through the tube, a smile gracing his face before it quickly vanished as he remembered who was next to him.

Putting away the device, he nodded to Valka and Vendetta, who in turn nodded to each other and drew back on their respective bows and released a arrow wrapped in burning cloth high into the sky. At the zenith of their arcs, the arrows crossed paths.

The gathered vikings let out a thunderous cheer as the white smoke cross signalled a successful engagement.

All but three rejoiced at the clarification.

The three outliers? The Runt, the Chatterbox and the Deadly Beauty.

* * *

Chapter's End

 **AN:** Well shit this took a long time to update. And I ended up with more worlds than the first chapter. Something might not be adding up here. Either way, a slightly late Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Sorry if it feels rushed, but I just finished finals and couldn't stand the thought of leaving this story up in the air this close to 2018.

And thought this is public posting, this is a little late Christmas gift to Anonymous Noob. Merry Christmas!


End file.
